ally or averter?

People who are not pursuing their dreams are not capable of helping you or encouraging you as you achieve yours. They aren’t the ones in the arena with you.

If someone is not aware of or actively engaged with their own dream, what makes you think they’re a sound authority for feedback or support on yours? Why would they understand it? Why would they be able to empathize with what’s on the line? If they aren’t in the middle of giving everything they’ve got for the vision that’s meant for them, being who they’re meant to be, acknowledging their desires and their heart’s song, and taking bold action towards it, do you think they will really be your best bet for advice, commiseration, help, or celebration for your dreams?

We have to live it to get it. The ones who can honestly say, “I’m right there with you,” are the people who will be your strongest allies and companions. They understand because they care and they’re engaging too. They have big dreams too, and they’ve named them. They’re working for them. They’re awake and striving with their life. You can meet over common values. You’re both foot soldiers on the path for love, joy, creativity, and potential.

These people — in any shape or form, for however long you know them, whatever impact they have, whatever role they play — are invaluable.

Be someone who lives a great story and comes alongside others to say, “I’m right there with you.”

And to the rest?

Like Matt Haig says, “Don’t absorb criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice.”