rain clouds
“Sometimes I feel itchy or full of resistance or angst or whatever — everybody does, no matter how great or successful our lives get.”
-a line from my Google Docs, Sept. 2021
This is a reminder for all the days you wake up and do not feel like getting out of bed or tackling your to-do list or making decisions. Sometimes we’re under a rain cloud, in a mood, or wearing our heavy boots.
Even in a season of life that is very, very good! Even when we are experiencing a lot of success and happiness! Even when things are going well.
It’s nice to imagine a time we won’t be or to think one day we’ll be happy and life will be easy and challenges will dissipate. The day we ride off into the sunset. Our happily ever after. It’s easy, when picturing the illusive, “ideal” ever after in our minds, to think that the present, reality, tough, mixed-bag, everyday mundanity and magic isn’t enough. It’s easy to forget the ever-after sunset is an illusion, and we will always have to work and face challenge and feel struggle. Perfection is a trap. There is no freedom in expecting it or striving for it. Humanity is imperfect and messy and feeling.
Using our imaginations to picture how things “should” be in our minds, to think of times we won’t be stressed, won’t experience anxiety, will face no issues, will always feel motivated and peaceful and excited, won’t know any friction… this is a misuse of imagination. It isn’t real. The bugs, imperfections, and challenges of life are built in and will always be part of the experience. They help us grow, they offer a mirror back to ourselves, and they shine a bright light on beauty, grace, joy, and magic.
Light and dark. Yin and yang.
Even when your life is aligned and strong, you will experience messy human emotions. Even when you are on the path you’re meant to be on, and you know deep joy, you may also feel fear and anxiety at times. Even when you’re doing what you want to be doing and are doing your very best at it, sometimes you won’t want to do it at all, and sometimes you’ll still wake up on the wrong side of the bed or feel off and angsty.
This is not a marker or indication of the quality of your life. It’s only a sign that you still are alive. Humans are brave, resilient, imperfect creatures experiencing a magic and mundane world. Life is a lot of work. It always will be.
Keep growing. Keep showing up. Be good to yourself. Really - give yourself kindness and softness today. Be patient. Have love and perspective. Take a break. Believe in your vision and your future and dreams. Remove the drama. Life is good. You will be okay. There is nothing wrong with you or this day or your life, even if you feel cranky or anxious or unsettled. That’s just how we feel sometimes. Let it be. Let if flow through you. Talk to a friend, and be your own friend.
