accepting help
Asking for help is hard. Accepting help offered is hard.
But if we want to be whole, healthy, supported humans…
If we want deep, thriving, reciprocal community…
If we want the gift and honor of helping other people we love…
We must also receive help ourselves.
No man is an island. I do not exist in a vacuum, and total self-sufficiency isn’t a badge of merit to be worn.
We are all connected. We need each other. People long to feel needed, loved, supported, held, seen, and valued. One important aspect of this is helping and being helped.
When it’s offered, even if you feel really squirmy and unsure about it, say yes. Say thank you. Let their help be a further part of a bond that brings you together. Shared humanity. Love and kindness, offered and received.
P.S. This post was inspired by my mom, who realized I was having a really tough week and feeling overwhelmed by it all — Jake getting sick, helping friends move, working, trying to keep up with everything, worrying about multiple upcoming plans we’d have to cancel if we were both sick, etc etc etc — and she offered to help. “What can I do? How can I help?” She insisted, even though I didn’t want to be a burden. She really wanted to help, and we talked about how hard it is to ask for help, and how people just don’t very often. We talked about the idea of communal support and shared workloads. She came over and did all my dishes and cleaned up my kitchen, while I sat and drank tea and talked with her, and it was really nice.
It’s not that doing dishes is too hard, or I can’t clean my own kitchen. But when there’s that and seemingly a million other things piled up, sometimes it feels like you can’t catch your breath or take a few minutes. Sometimes the weight feels heavy and there’s a lot going on. You don’t have to bear it all on your own.
Shared humanity. Someone loving (thanks, Mom!!) stepping up and intentionally lightening your load. A relief. Help. Kindness.
Yes, please. Thank you.
