advice for a friend
What advice would you give to a friend?
At times, we will all find ourselves feeling stuck, full of questions, or facing fear.
It can be hard to give yourself what you need, or to even know what you need, because you’re in the thick of it. It’s not you looking in from the outside, it’s you living it and feeling it from the inside. This personal perception has a tendency to make things appear larger and more all-consuming — the good and the bad. So when it’s difficult to figure out your next step or get a little perspective and mindset shift on your situation, try this question:
What advice would you give to a friend?
You can do this. Keep going.
If you put one foot in front of the other, over and over and over, you will be amazed how far it will take you. Just the next, tiniest, best step. Make a move. Everything adds up.
Remember when you handled the last big thing in your path, and you deftly kept wading in and trying things? Remember the last time you succeeded and got what you really wanted? Remember how that felt? Remember when you wanted what you have now, and you couldn’t quite imagine getting here?
Never give up on your hope, your insane potential, and the possibility and wonder within and all around you. When you temporarily lose sight, always let it be temporary.
Do it from love, for love.
Fear is never your boss or your leader. Saying “it’s really scary” just isn’t a good enough excuse. Do you want to get to the end of your life and realize you skipped and dodged a lot of experiences because they were intimidating or uncertain? Absolutely not. You are capable of the terrifying opportunities.
Brianna Doe said, “it feels scary because it's unfamiliar. Not because you can't do it. 🙌🏽”
My friend Kim boosted my confidence and determination at my first powerlifting meet by saying, “Just because it’s heavy DOES NOT mean you can’t lift it. It’s supposed to feel heavy. YOU CAN DO THIS.”
So take that first step and just never back down, do not ever give up. Keep believing. Keep taking itty bitty actions. Stay with it.
Have fun! Life is short. Life is magic. Have some fun with it.
Let yourself be wholehearted. Totally lean into your truest, strongest yeses and desires. Follow those shy heart whispers of the thing that lights you up. Ignore nothing. Get curious and then curious-er. 😉 Never, ever cut yourself short. What is the worst that could happen???
Find the ones you love, love the ones you have, let them love you back. Friends are everything. Anne Lamott said, "Luckily though, God is a total show-off, and Grace bats last, and our friends are why anything works at all." All so true. You belong. You belong. You will always belong. Our friends are the secret sauce and the deepest kind of magic I know. Together we bloom.
And grace? There will always be grace. You don’t have to earn it. You just get to receive it and share it.
All the best accomplishments, adventures, and relationships in your life… everything worthwhile is going to take time, patience, practice, and effort. Nothing really great comes easily or accidentally. Don’t choose the path of entitlement or impatience. Stick with it. Put in the work and the care. Use your passion.
Remove the drama. Try to notice your own bias and specific perspective and whatever you might be exaggerating or cutting out to make things seem the way they seem.
Start now. Don’t delay. Also, be willing to play the long game. (time’s paradox)
Be bold. Be brave. Be kind. Be humble and honest and authentic. Be generous and practice listening.
Lastly, cut yourself some slack. Go easy. Be sweet. Give yourself endless love and self-compassion. You deserve love and care and rest and empathetic understanding.
You’re going to kill it, you shining magical being! 😘
