the one about comfort & heroes

The time will move quickly either way, so why not do something meaningful with it?

The path of least resistance tries to tempt us into pursuing comfort. But this isn’t the path that will bring the most fulfillment or satisfaction. Long term rewards come from challenge, hard work, presence, movement, a million small steps, doing something big (even if that means tons of tiny things, compounded), action, gratitude, and finding joy.

My joy will be built through the simple magic of noticing moments and everything they hold for me. My joy will be built in how I work hard to invest in something I can be proud of — a flower garden, my writing, a clean and cozy home, a life with friends I love, future plans, present actions, intentional and beloved dreams — rather than in moments trying to stay as comfortable as possible and feeling stuck in unmotivation.

I have been feeling pulled into inactivity and passivity in some ways lately… Jake suggested it’s likely because fall is arriving, and as the seasons change and wane towards winter, we’re instinctually tugged towards hibernation. I think it could be this, or perhaps an accident that started with being exhausted and consumed by my new job for many weeks, and maybe as my energy has returned and the job has settled, I haven’t yet broken the habit of sitting around and banking extra rest. I think for a while, I needed the extra digesting time. I didn’t really have the bandwidth for my first couple months at this job to also take on other projects or move forward with new things. I was tired and mentally drained and very wrapped up in the energy expenditure the new role, responsibility, culture, environment, learning curves, etc. asked of me. So extra couch and Netflix time and very lazy recuperation weekends were called for! Though I’m guessing now, based on my restless itchiness and mounting boredom, I’m ready for movement and action and new projects again.

I need hard work. It’s in my crucial recipe ingredients for a happy life. Rest is essential; so is meaningful, intentional hard work.

The path of least resistance is very sneaky and persistent at times. It’s easy to believe I will be happiest if I am comfortable and catered to. Immediate gratification. If all my whims are met, every craving indulged, the easiest and most convenient choices made. It’s easy to believe I will enjoy my time off the most if there are no demands on me, and that I will feel happiest and most at-peace if I can just lay around, unburdened, enjoy my favorite tv show, and not have to do pesky chores or annoying work I don’t want to. It’s easy to tell myself I worked all week; now is my chance to do nothing, hooray!

Doing nothing sometimes isn’t the best thing.

The path of least resistance may have a sugary sweet, sticky, convincing siren song, but it’s usually not solid. It usually is not the path to our dreams or happiness.

I received an email newsletter this week talking about how comfort can be the enemy of happiness, and we are most satisfied when we are challenged.

Challenge is scary. Challenge means we have to rise up and be the hero in our own story.

Heroes are not the star of the show and the change-makers because everything comes easily to them; on the contrary, usually our heroes have to fight through many obstacles and pains to win the day and become their best selves. Heroes are heroes because they have clear conviction for their truest vision, and they’re willing to take on challenge with courage and heart. Heroes are heroes because they do not cave to the siren song of comfort. Our heroes are the ones willing to take responsibility and get to work.

I have been staying too comfortable. Too much comfort leads to complacency, self-entitlement, whining, complaining, impatience… generally undesirable, ineffective traits and behaviors.

I’m not saying we should all just deny ourselves pleasure in a bro-hustle attempt to be badasses! Not at all! I’m a big fan of pleasure and delight and ease and rest. All essential. All delicious and wonderful, important parts of the human experience. Deny yourself none of it.

But also understand none of these things will matter much if they are not supported by a life of meaningful hard work aligned with our values and highest dreams. The calls inside your heart are going to require you to be your own courageous, responsible, creative, hard-working hero.

It all goes hand-in-hand. We must be well-rested, resourced, nourished, responsively-cared for, self-compassionate people who also rise up, face fears and challenges, do not shirk responsibility, get right down to the nitty gritty, keep moving forward, and understand the necessity for delayed gratification and constant effort.

Life is going to be constant effort. I think Stutz says that. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I grow a little stagnant, which starts to make me itchy and unhappy, and I don’t realize; I wonder what’s wrong and when I’ll start feeling motivated again… But we are motivated when we’re in motion. We can’t afford to wait around for the feelings to change; sometimes we must act to change the feelings (and the circumstance!).

An object in motion stays in motion. An object at rest stays at rest.

I’ve been at rest (speaking specifically about my free time, unscheduled hours outside of work). My insides are craving for more motion and output once again, which is a nice realization. It’s exciting. Invigorating.

Sometimes it’s really hard to spark myself, when NOT in motion, to get back to action and projects and plans and effort. The least-resistance option is to not change the path of movement: to let everything keep going the way it already is. Of course it’s easier to just let the lazy weekends keep stacking up, one after the other. But I am realizing how much I am ready and in need of more.

Just keep in mind — alongside me — happiness does not come from comfort. It grows through challenge.

xoxo