everyday magic, pt. 2

Last night Jake and I were watching Friends (a trusty show constantly on repeat in all the years we’ve been together, like a good friend, and we’ve probably seen it 4 times through together!), and we’re at a fun part of the series when Chandler and Monica are getting married. We were dying rewatching this clip and cracking up! (Watch the first 25 seconds!) I wish you could’ve seen Jake repeating “then the niiiiight comes!” and “then the daaaaay comes!” over and over, with increasing emotion and hilarity. 😂 (But also, I selfishly am happy to keep that moment to myself, the only person who witnessed it, as a goofy, tiny, “unimportant,” intimate snippet of all the romance and comedy and joy and struggle and delightful everyday magic that makes up our marriage, friendship, and life together! ❤)

*And then she starts going on about DUSK 🤣🤣🤣*

OK, so we’re snuggling on the couch watching this episode and laughing our heads off and talking about how freaking relatable it is! Not because we’re alone and jonesing for a love partner, like Rachel is pretending here, but just because life is hard, adulting is a lot of freaking work, in this season of our careers and lives we get up by 5 AM and go to bed by 9 AM, we’re frequently exhausted, there are always a million little and big things, and work and life routines can be really taxing!! Jake and I joke, only half-kidding, all the time about how tired we are of taking showers, of going to bed, of driving, of eating… because it feels like we do it all the time. Like all we’re ever doing is going to bed, getting up, getting ready for work, taking a shower, driving the commute, figuring out the next meal to cook or order… 😂 And of course, this isn’t all our lives are right now — not even the bulk — but time can speed by so fast, and being a person who is working hard and trying to balance commitments, necessities, passions, fun, growth, and rest can get overwhelming… so sometimes, we blink, look up, and oh what do you know! Time to go to bed again. Time for another shower. Time to go to work. The tasks we have to do and can’t just skip can become so repetitive and at times annoying, so it’s sort of become a running inside joke.

Then this clip plays. Rachel donning her best drama. 😂 And I shouted at the screen, “That’s how it is!!!!” And Jake agreed and we both just busted up laughing and imitating this favorite Friends moment for the rest of the night. (Seriously… when Jake asked how I was doing right after I got up this morning, still all bleary-eyed, I said “and then the daaaay comes!” in a tired, funny voice!)

But here’s the thing: these are days I wouldn’t trade and I wouldn’t give back. In every moment and every season of our lives — you, me, Jake, everyone — we make memories and weave together stories that craft who we are and the stories we’re telling. What experiences do we get to have? What did we do during that season that redefined us or helped us grow or break out into the next metamorphosis of ourselves? What were the highs and lows? What are we learning? What’s been the most fun? What will we have forever to look back on fondly? What do we really cherish and care about? Who do we get to spend this time with?

We’re bonded together forever, and sure, it’s through big things like marriage vows, how many years we’ve been together, and the massive life milestones we’ve passed together and things we’ve shared with each other that we haven’t shared with anyone else and never will… but it’s also through all the million tiny things, like sharing a favorite show, latching on to a favorite moment, laughing harder than we laugh with anyone else, the way his voice sounds and his face looks as he reenacts the scene, the joy bubbling up inside me…

And we’re bonded through experiences of effort, hard work, career challenges, losses and wins, daily routines, waking up sleepy, going to bed tired, building a home together, dealing with all the mundanities, starting our lives, getting to look back on chunks of time and see themes in retrospect, remembering how we felt and what we did and where it got us.

I’m extremely fond of the three years we spent in our little apartment, which was our first home together and the first place both of us lived apart from our families. That apartment will forever and ever live in my memory as the cutest, coziest, warmest, snuggest little nest (also sometimes messiest and most cramped!). We LOVED it, we really did. We loved moving in together. We had so many little and big adventures while we lived there. We got Blue while we lived there. We learned how to be a team while we lived there. We started figuring how to communicate better and deal with arguments and disagreements and fights and chores and family drama and happiness and travel and friends and having enough money and not having quite enough money… It was a really hard season at times. The hardest I’d ever experienced up to that point. (Still one of the hardest I’ve experienced.) It was also a really sweet season. A time of falling more in love and becoming independent and growing up into new versions of ourselves (I was 19 and Jake was 20 when we moved in!). The days of living just up the sidewalk from the grocery store and walking to get late night snacks and staying up late 100% of the time, making popcorn and getting ice cream and watching movies on our first hand-me-down, dark blue, ugly couch. (We didn’t have a tv yet, in the beginning! We had Jake’s desktop computer, which we would log onto Netflix with via a hot spot from our phones 😆, or we would rent Redbox DVDs at the store! How cool is that?) Jake was going to school, I was running my own business, and we were just figuring things out! We lived there when we got engaged and when we got married! Soooo many happy memories.

I know the season we’re in right now is going to be one I can look back on and remember fondly and for so many defining characteristics too! They’re almost always easier to see in hindsight, but now we live in our first (rented) house! We have a yard and flowers and projects and two dogs and amazing neighbors all around. We live two houses away from Jake’s parents, three houses away from his Grandma, and just across the street from honorary grandparents. I walk Blue on our neighborhood streets while the sun comes up. Jake and I get up every day together, in the dark before dawn, and get ready (him for work, me for the gym). We have a big table that fits ten people (❗❤), and we host game nights, dinners, movie nights, art brunches, holidays! There are all kinds of new hurdles and happy experiences we’re going through together now!

Life is wonderful. Astonishing, really. Filled with everyday magic.

This time in my life and Jake’s life is marked by a lot of work and repetition, starting our careers and figuring out what jobs we want, hard work, sore muscles, mental exhaustion, long days, busy schedules, routines that are mostly happy/sometimes drudgy, and everything we are building now and for the future!

I can’t find the origin of this quote, but it rings true: “I’d rather be completely exhausted from the hard times which breed success than well rested from achieving nothing.”

And I’ll leave you with this Firefly Lane quote below…
(because “Love is our essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meaning. It's the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing we receive. It's worthy of all the hullabaloo.” — Cheryl Strayed)

Life is wonderful. Astonishing, really. Filled with everyday magic.

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