human-ing
I wrote much of this a couple days ago (and have greatly edited, omitted, and clarified), just after returning from our favorite annual camping trip, in the midst of finishing my last week at my job, anticipating the coming first week at my new job, and feeling tired and over-peopled. It turned into a self-recovery/refreshing path forward, as writing often does! Don’t forget to journal; you’ll thank yourself! 😘
We’re home! The transition back to daily life seems to be hitting a little hard. Unlike camping, there is so much noise here, so much to compete with (or deliberately not compete with), so many struggles and stresses. Such is humanity. Psychologist Phil Stutz said there are “three aspects of reality that no one gets to avoid: pain, uncertainty, and constant work. So those are things that you’re just going to have to live with no matter what.” I find this plain, obvious acceptance comforting because it offers a no-nonsense, empowering freedom to understand what’s before me, with no denial, and to decide I will calmly move forward to deal with that which I cannot avoid. It also lets me know everyone else must deal with this stuff, just like me, and no one among us is a lonely island. It reminds me I can choose joy in the middle of everything.
I miss the trees and their glorious, freeing, total lack of bullshit, faking, draining, performing, and demands. We’ve been home a little over 24 hours, and I guess I just thought I was adjusting/adjusted better than this. I’m drained and worn out at the end of today, capped of work small talk and mental load already. So tonight I’m feeling the effects. It’ll wear off, I know. As Jake pointed out, I’ll feel better tomorrow; I need some rest. I also need to be in tune and take good care of myself. Surround myself with good, kind, wholesome, true, trustworthy people. Be myself. Be patient and self-compassionate. Give myself a break. Listen when the wild animal calls inside me instead of drowning her out.
I am who I am, and I can trust myself, and I can be myself.
I can pay attention.
I am good at love and big, wide open arms.
Everything is going to be okay.
I do not have to rush and squeeze and cram and please. I don’t have to fit for someone or somewhere else.
I can practice taking good, sweet care of myself.
I have two days left at my job, and I can do two days. I am starting a very exciting new job on Monday, and that is a good act in service to myself and my desired, needed, aligned life and environment. I am hopeful this one giant shift will make my days, work, interactions, and how I spend the majority of my time feel drastically better, truer, and more meaningful.
I can go to bed and read a good novel and get some sleep and let it all rest until tomorrow… some of it for even longer if needed.
That’s what I know right now. And that’s enough for now.
