responsive self care
What a strange week this has been.
Literally every single day this week, I have been unexpectedly exhausted and lacking capacity to rally. Normally, I get up at 4:15 in the morning, four out of the five weekdays, and get to the gym to train. Today is Friday, and I only made two of those 4:15 training wake ups this week. I have been so tired and in such great need of recovery that I decided to prioritize sleep this week and managed to get a couple hours more than I would have over the week, by getting up as late as possible before work.
The work week has felt slow and dragging, which is rare with my new job. I’ve been lacking energy and motivation, and it’s a weird week with the company, while almost everyone is gone for a symposium in Anaheim, so I’m not seeing or helping students or interacting with very many people.
I think maybe I was fighting off a little cold or flu symptoms this week, since I got a headache and sore throat a couple of the days, and getting the extra sleep, taking a bubble bath, drinking orange juice — but especially the rest and sleep — have helped a lot!
I don’t have any specific aim of this post, other than to reflect on what’s been going on, how I’m feeling, and to notice the importance of responsive self-care.
There will be days you need more support or tenderness than other days. There will be weeks that are different from most because what your body or mind require to be well cared for might be calling for an out-of-the-ordinary approach.
It’s absolutely true that in a “normal” week, training is one of my top priorities. I value my gym time highly and ensure every week I’m getting it done. I love it, and it plays a huge role in my goals and vision for my future, my strength, my physical and mental health, and my identity. I also feel worse when I don’t work out! Usually, taking care of myself and the priorities I want to meet means getting up early to fit my workouts into the morning.
This week, though, I wouldn’t have been able to show up for them without compromising my physical wellbeing. The exhaustion was too high, and more than likely, I probably would have tipped myself over into a little sickness.
Even though it bums me out to miss workouts, and I love the gym, I could feel a HUGE difference each day I went to bed a little earlier and woke up an hour and fifteen minutes later. It was so worth it. I felt much better in the morning than I had the night before, and after doing it for two nights in a row, I was starting to feel more recovered. Still tired, but bouncing back. And I am planning to work out Saturday and Sunday this weekend, which I don’t usually do, so I will still finish my programming this week!
My piano lesson this week also happened to be canceled, and Jake and I have really not done much in the evenings. All together, the extra care has been extremely beneficial and a beautiful combination. Last night, I made it to a Zumba class for the first time in a couple weeks, which was a fun chance to socialize and dance, and tonight I’m going to a Ladies Night for the same reasons.
Remember, if you’re in a low spot, everything is cyclical and temporary and swings back around. Be sure to take good care of yourself.
