seems ≠ is
Have you ever experienced a situation that looks perfectly fine from the outside but feels terrible on the inside? I know I have.
There’s an interesting dichotomy and dance between the logistics/facts and the feelings/emotions.
Sometimes we’re living through or dealing with something that seems one way but feels another. Sometimes your situation may look great to a third party or seem manageable or awesome on paper, but somehow, no matter which way you finagle the facts, logic, and details, it still just feels wrong.
It might seem like this doesn’t add up — if the figures are there, if the rational pieces fall into place, if it all outlines neatly on the page, if everything should add up to be a picture-perfect combination, then why does it feel like this?
If everything seems doable and like I don’t have anything to complain about or be overwhelmed by — if this seems like something I should be able to handle just fine — then why am I wilting?
If I thought I wanted all of this and it turns out I don’t, or it’s different than expected, or I don’t want it all at once — is something wrong with me?
No.
Shoulds are overrated.
There’s more to the story. There’s always more to the story.
Humans are not robots. We are not machines, moving through our sequencing and our logically-outlined paper instructions that “add up,” with no program hitches or mechanical failures or deterrences. Humans are messier and more feeling than that. We are feeling beings. There is always more to the story, because the story isn’t just the facts that we stack up on the page.
We have the logical, scientific, mathematical, mechanical, rational facts. And we have our emotions and feelings and everything that can’t be so neatly summarized or added up.
It’s a dichotomy and dance. It’s a balance and mix. They are inseparably intertwined throughout our lives.
Becca Piastrelli said,
“We are not machines. We are ancient animals navigating modern times. Slow it downnnn.” 🦕🦕🦕
In every scenario and season of your life, there will be countless elements, moving pieces, and factors. There is what is happening, there is how you feel about what is happening, there are the million life details that seem to need your attendance and attention, there is the global story, there are cultural influences, modern happenings, national and communal aspects, things outside of your control, other people, internal and external affects, your life values and worldview, your perspective, your energy and capacity based on everything else, how you are taking care of yourself and prioritizing…
So sometimes, something that seems one way can feel and actually be very different.
I have been in a couple seasons like that and have had to learn (and remember) there is nothing wrong with me. There is more than meets the eye. Maybe it’s too much all at once or too much for right now, maybe it’s not a good fit for me or for this season, maybe it’s out of alignment with my values — no matter how fantastic anything seems on paper, if it’s misaligned from your values, it will not work. Nothing flows freely when it’s swimming against the values current.
So don’t forget the dichotomy dance. Don’t forget to attend to all the parts of you and deeply notice your life and let yourself be a whole person, an ancient animal, not just a robot.
