on self perspective

When this is being done for me, am I noticing? Do I accept it and appreciate it? Am I living in gratitude?

Or am I only seeing the shortcomings and my own selfish wishes?

Do I add up thanksgivings or complaints?

Is my viewpoint overly critical or full of positive perspective and grace?

This is something I’m really struggling with right now. When I feel lonely and unseen and unsupported in all the ways I want to be, is it because the support and generous, connected compassion is missing, or is it because I am turning a blind eye to it? Am I only always finding something to complain about? Am I disregarding all the other ways I have support, fair help, understanding, and emotional care?

It can be really hard to see yourself clearly in some tender areas. I’m too close to my own self sometimes to calm the waters and notice objectively. Big feelings can sway perceptions of reality.