rejection

In the past, I didn’t handle rejection well. I didn’t have any experience with it. I had no skin tougher than a sheet of paper. I was accustomed to working hard for what I wanted, in a dedicated, serious, and lovingly passionate way… but not in a long-haul, gritty, persistent way. I was accustomed to hard work within the lens of success. I thought the equation went like this: work hard + do your best + be smart = you will succeed. No questions asked.

Of course we know this isn’t how it works. Plenty of folks do all three of those things and more, and are plenty kind and deserving, and yada yada… but they still face inexplicable heartbreak. Or still are hit with barrier after barrier. Or still don’t succeed.

…YET. Because success comes through engaging with the low spots, and getting up one more time than you are knocked down, forever. Learning how to gain strength, strategy, perspective, and joy wherever you can. Discovering the secrets to innovative, intentional, responsive living. Just because you’ve failed doesn’t mean you’re done; this is only the beginning.

Younger Me hadn’t had any run-ins with failures, pain, unknowns, disappointments, or hardship. I was used to receiving support and funneling my resources towards what I wanted… and then getting it, most of the time. Unfamiliar to me was the concept of battling through rejection and obstacles, one after another, still holding onto belief for my vision and never giving up. Only because I hadn’t experienced such.

Resilience is hard-won. Strength is forged through fire and stone. We work for our becoming. The best parts of us are weathered and growing back with new vitality. Deeper understanding, stronger willingness to engage, welcoming of wisdom, belief in our power together.

I wouldn’t have begun to understand this if things had remained mostly easy for me. Of course, it’s all relative, and my life is still exorbitantly privileged, blessed, safe, and comfortable compared to many. Nevertheless, now I’ve experienced much more pain and challenge than before. I’ve grown through problems I never expected to come my way. I’ve felt lost and confused and deeply sad. Is it ever really possible to empathize with someone in these places if you’ve never been there yourself? I understand a little more than I used to. I hope that will continue to evolve and grow within me.

I’ve faced many rejections, and they still send me reeling… but a little less than before. The bounce back is faster. I’m starting to find more strength throughout, even down in the valleys and canyons. Even when the views are murky and obscured. Even when I feel sad or scared or tired.

I’m learning how to look at disappointments and wonder if maybe it turned out exactly like it should’ve and perhaps weeks or months or years from now, I’ll be grateful for the turn of events because of where I end up instead. Because of another possibility that might present itself just around the corner from this rejection and might be even better.

I’m learning how to take what I’m trying and keep adding to my skills and abilities. I’m learning how to seek out opportunity and build what I want in my life, all the time, even when things “aren’t going well.” Maybe that thing isn’t… but this other thing over here is thriving!

I’m learning how to be persistent and not give up, to hold steady and stay committed to my practices, because the practice is the point, the life boat, the meaning, the growth, and the best contribution anyway.

This is how we can be okay, stay aligned, and find our lives on the right path.

Rejection is just the beginning. Keep going.