space & mental hygiene
Trying to be in conversation with myself, I have noticed recently that what I need most for now seems to be space.
Space to be more still and to reflect. Space in my schedule and environment and — a big one — my mind. I am working on clearing out some of what I’ve been doing that maybe I don’t need to do anymore, dropping some to-dos, commitments, or events from my week’s calendar, and creating a little more wiggle room. I’m trying to notice what it is I want to be doing… As an Obliger (according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies Quiz and according to my lived experience 😆), I am very good, sometimes painfully good, at doing the things I should be doing. Waking up and mentally tabulating all that must be done today. Keeping extensive internal and external lists, ad nauseum, and working diligently to get all of it done. Meeting outward expectations and never wanting to let someone else down. It’s just a Tendency, a part of my personality, and it can be used as a tool for good! It’s the way I lean, but if I’m not aware and aligned, it can become a drain and even tyrant sometimes. Too much isn’t a good thing.
Right now, I’m trying to un-oblige, in little ways here and there. I’m trying to notice what I think I must do, and then notice whether or not it’s what I want to do. What do I really want to do? What do I like? What would make me happy and bring joy, satisfaction, and peace? How do I want to have fun right now? What are the thoughts going through my head, and are they useful, or no? Am I getting stuck in some limiting beliefs? Am I staying wrapped up in duty or obligation mentally, when it’s time to let go and play? How do I need to move forward towards freedom and space, even if it’s going to be an uncomfortable action or hard to start?
Creating space has been a craving for free-form journaling, some alone time, clearing out unfinished projects, and curating a more peaceful and welcoming home environment that really feels like me.
“Mental hygiene” is a term I got from Michael De La Pava, and I’m working on shoring mine up. I love the idea that mental health encapsulates everything, the good and the bad, and your mental hygiene is made up of the things you do for that health. Lately, I’m tending to my mental hygiene in thought, mind, challenge, environment, habit, approach, action, and space. Noticing how I orient myself and how I approach a “bad” day and my own lousy attitudes and struggle. Paying attention to how I’m meeting challenges. Cleaning out and cleaning up. Giving myself a safe haven of delight and comfort, to be excited to go home to. Assessing, but also just doing. We want to have the honesty, clarity, feedback, awareness, and input to make changes and grow, but at some point, nothing can replace practicing, and there is no substitute for experience. You have to try. Sometimes, even when I don’t feel ready, and it still seems like a mess, even when I think I’m not good enough yet or it needs more prep work or improvement first… sometimes, I just have to start, do, go, launch, keep trying.
So I am making the space to do just that.
P.S. What’s your Tendency, and what do you need in response to it lately?? I’d love to know! The Comments are open for any thoughts on mental hygiene, as well! We’re in this together. Onward. ❤
