the practice
In two days, I will be competing in my first powerlifting competition. Tomorrow is my weigh-in, and the big day is just one day after!
I’m so excited. I can’t even put into words what a day it’s going to be! But also…
I’m scared.
This morning, I caught myself thinking I kind of wish I could just continue preparation for this meet indefinitely. (I don’t really wish this. But the nerves are there!) Part of me wishes that I could just keep training and getting ready because actually going is terrifying. And I can’t believe it’s two days away! I’ve never done this before, so as with any new challenge we take on, there is the element of uncertainty and not knowing what to expect. I have been to a couple powerlifting meets, but I’ve never been a lifter at one. What will it be like? How will I feel? How will I perform?
And this particular uncertainty feels massive because it’s for something I really care about. I LOVE powerlifting. I’ve been wanting to do this for many months now. I’ve poured my heart and effort into preparing and building strength. This is exciting, and it’s personal.
The nerves are bigger when you care.
If it’s a new thing, but it’s not a big deal to you, then the uncertainty doesn’t matter so much.
This matters to me.
So I caught myself thinking, “wow, I wish I could just infinitely keep training for this.” Like, “yes, I’m competing in a powerlifting meet!”… but also never actually have to compete and do the thing. 😂 (Again — that’s not REALLY what I want. I can’t wait for Saturday, and I know for sure I want to do this!! But if the fears are talking, this is what they’re saying.)
And I guess that’s what we do when we don’t put a deadline on something. It’s all too easy to say you’re doing something or theorize and make big talk without ever following through. We all know someone who is forever talking about the tons of impressive things they’ve done, but their stories are from fifteen years ago. Or they talk all the time about when they’re going to do it again or take that magical trip again or build those habits again or whatever their fill-in-the-blank is. This approach is full of stories that sound like the big thing is happening and is still coming, even though the storyteller is not taking any active steps to make it reality or get closer to the dream being currently realized.
This kind of talk makes us feel good, big, important, and impressive. “I’m training for a powerlifting meet, this is a big deal, it’s going to be so fun and badass, I’m serious about this and have intention and hard work going into something great!”
But if we don’t put ourselves on the line and commit and sign up for the thing, then it maybe won’t ever happen.
Then all we have is talk and the comfortable procrastination of putting off the important, worthwhile, terrifying challenge. (And even if that sounds slightly inviting — and less risky — it would be such a let down in reality, and I think we all know it.)
So part of me, the part that is afraid, wants to just postpone and not face this on Saturday. Just keep training. Put it off. Do it one day.
That’s not going to happen, of course. I am very excited, and I want to do this. Absolutely.
But I am also scared, and the scared part of me doesn’t want to do it; that part of me wants to stay safe.
I am reading The Practice by Seth Godin, and he talks about “shipping creative work” and about the process — which he calls your “practice” — of showing up everyday for the work you need to get done. He says every person is creative. Creativity is not so much a category as it is your heart and intent brought to everything you ever do.
Many people think they are not very creative because they do not freaking PAINT or do something in the “creative arts.” People tend to think of creativity as painting, playing an instrument, writing poetry, etc., and only those things.
But Seth talks a lot about how all people are creative. This comes down to the crux of: imagination is creative. And all people have imagination.
Creative means you’re making something; you’re bringing something to life that wasn’t here before you got here. It could be a painting or a poem, or it could be a solution or invention or relationship or breakthrough.
Imagination is creative, and imagination is used for everything. Decision-making. In order to even decide something, you must be able to imagine, and something I learned from Harris III is everyone is imagining all the time. It could be a misuse of your imagination or a beneficial use of your imagination, but you are always thinking stories in your head. It could be worry or wonder, but either way, it’s still imagination.
Everyone is creative.
Everyone is imaginative.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a CEO running meetings in board rooms all day, a mechanic working in the shop, or a top chef in a fancy Italian restaurant. You are creative. The way you go about the work you need to do… the way you connect with other people and bring your best self into what you’re offering… the way you solve problems, the way you make things better for other people… is your creativity.
This is your contribution.
So the practice that Seth Godin talks about is showing up everyday (or daily-ish, terrific advice from Oliver Burkeman ❤), consistently, even when you don’t feel like it or think it will be worth it today, trusting that the practice creates good results; and you do the practice not for outcome, but because you trust the practice. Because you know the practice works.
We engage with the practice to engage with the practice.
It’s the infinite game.
It’s easy to get stuck and say, “no, I’m not going to do this thing (publish my blog, sign up for the powerlifting competition, _____) because I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the result I want from it. (Maybe my writing will be terrible or I will fail all my lifts at the meet.)” Right?
So it’s easy to never start. To not do the thing, under this excuse of security.
But Seth talks about how engaging with the practice, showing up with daily efforts and putting in time towards your work — whatever it is — is the path to stay on, remembering that results don’t matter. You are trusting the practice without the need for reassurance, because reassurance is futile. Whether or not you get reassurance, you still need to keep doing your work and making your contribution and living the life you’re meant to live while you’re here.
The practice doesn’t rely on outcomes, and it’s a way to bypass the part of you that thinks you can’t start or can’t do the thing or commit to the deadline because you are afraid of results. The practice is a way to get past fear. Because the practice doesn’t care about the results, the practice is just the act of putting in the time and trying things.
It’s like the string of pearls in Stutz. You keep stringing your pearls (each action) together, and the pearls also have turd in them. But that’s none of your business, you can’t control that what you make will come out perfectly! So it is freedom and permission, in a way. You just want to keep placing another pearl on the string, keep moving forward. (In case you haven’t watched Jonah Hills’ documentary on his therapist, Stutz, yet — you should! — and if you are a little confused by my meager explanation: I loved this newsletter describing Phil Stutz’ tool, the String of Pearls.)
We think we are afraid to start because our results might be shit. Or we’re afraid to start because our results might be incredible, which will put us on the hook for keeping it up and not letting anyone down, which gives us fear that FUTURE efforts and outcomes won’t be able to live up to the first.
The thing is, we never even have a chance at the terrific outcomes and dreams we hope for if we do not simply start and keep going. Engage with the practice. String together your pearls. If you aren’t doing that yet, then you have no chance anyway of getting the successful results you hope for! On the other hand, if you are adding a pearl to the string and moving forward consistently, you’re bound to do something you love at least some of the time! Why not bet on that, right? Why not get started?
So a big part of Seth Godin’s book The Practice is what he calls “shipping.” Sharing with other people, hitting “publish,” letting your thing exist out in the world. Unless this is just a hobby you do hidden away in your closet that you never want to tell anyone about, you have to ship it. Otherwise, your work — as a contribution and gift to the world and to yourself — hasn’t fully developed or hit its mark. Seth says your creativity is not done unless you’ve shipped it.
Because I am nervous enough to weigh in tomorrow and to compete on Saturday, there’s that little part of me that doesn’t want to do it.
This morning, I started thinking about shipping the work and how good it is that I’m committed to this deadline. (Deadline because the meet is happening Saturday, whether I’m there or not, and I decided two months I most definitely want to be there.)
The results of my meet — I care about them, yes, and I’m going to put my all into that competition; but ultimately, in the big picture, they don’t matter. Because the practice is the training and meet prep I’ve been showing up for for the last 8 weeks, and the practice is the lifting I’ve been doing for the last year and a half. Consistent practices get results, but the results aren’t the point. Regardless of what happens on Saturday, I’m still going back to the gym, and I’m still going to keep lifting because of what the practice adds to my life, you know?
So if I want the big challenge, if I want to push myself and see how far I can grow, if I want this story and dream for myself, if I want to see my work through to the end and beyond… if I don’t want to just talk about the desires I have like they will happen “one day”… then I have to ship. I have to show up, put it on the platform, and say “here’s a result of the practice I’m engaging in.” If it tanks, it tanks, and you go back to the practice and try it again. You take whatever you can learn, and pivot and keep going. If it’s a great success, then cool! You have a little bit of fuel to continue! Back to your practice and try it again!
Either way: keep practicing!
I like that I am on the hook, even though part of me is hating it.
We want to do our best work. We want to show up for our potential.
For ourselves and the dreams within our hearts.
For everyone else, for the ways we can help and bring a brightness to the world.
You belong here, and your work is needed. Keep practicing. Have the courage to finish something and share it.
It’s worth it.
P.S. This sort of accidentally partially became a book review and summarization for The Practice, which I also more briefly mentioned here, and I totally hope it encourages you to get a copy and read/listen to it!
